Where I have been.

Hi friend,

I am guessing no one will read this, but that is okay. I need to write.

This past week was an exhausting one for me. And I was exhausted doing something I love. Which hasn’t been the case in a very long time. One of my most favorite things to do, is to build something. And the one thing I have been building for so long, almost was taken away from me.

Not by anyone inparticular, but because I made the choice to let it go.

And what I am talking about (sorry for all the ands), is my business. I still have it. It is still here. I am working on it almost every day, but I am no longer trying to grow it.

I had these really big goals, to build this really big couple, but what I realized was, that I was living a dream, a reality, a to do list, built by so many before me.

I threw myself into this world where I never felt like I belong, because it was a career choice that others said I would be good at. I had no idea what the next 8+ years would entail. And while I love what I do, I don’t always love who I do it with.

I am a real estate agent. Actually, now I am a real estate broker. And while I am really proud of myself, hustling, grinding, being a “boss”… Those aren’t my favorite things.

I just want to build something that I can invite others into.

As a real estate agent, broker, and brokerage owner, your door has to be open to everyone. Of course you can “niche” down, but the circles I was swimming in to try to build and cultivate what everyone else was doing, ended up being toxic for me.

So what happened? Well, I recently summed it up on an Instagram post on one of my new Instagram pages for one of my new ventures. I said something along the lines of this…

For years, I have been trying to figure out what my thing was. Like on social media. I have been forcing it. And I have been failing. This even maybe had me thinking, I didn’t know who I was. Eventually I gave up trying to figure out my thing. And I even forgot I thought I didn’t know who I was. I never questioned it until I got really obsessed with those marketing themselves in my industry. I got a taste of this “other world”, and I wanted in. I wanted to be one of the cool kids. God, I was pathetic. Hollywood has been making films like these for years, and I was so fixated on the plot, that I forgot the ending. They all figure out who they are, it is who they have been all along, they stop fighting it, and they embrace it. But I was so caught in the clouds, and I was distracted. I am a girl that doesn’t like wine or beer. I am not fun. I don’t party. And I rather be at home with my husbands and kids. I have never been to a happy hour and networking eats my soul. I deeply desire to write books and eventually travel the world. I am nice to a fault, and I give people more chances than they deserve, because I would want someone else to believe in me, in the same ways. I have made almost too many mistakes. Mostly embarrassing ones, and I have a faulty want to be perfect. 

The growth and self-awareness I have accomplished in the last year (or so) is something I will never get over. And what I mean by this, is holy cow, I am proud of myself. I was so broken. I remember laying on the floor just crying hysterically. Multiple times. But one time in particular. I had been the wrong person, and I had hired the wrong people, and my world came crashing down.

It the moment, I thought I was losing everything. But thank God it all happened. I don’t regret it. This ended up being the best thing to have ever happened to me. And I know people say this stuff all the time, but I really mean it. I was using someone else’s blueprint to build someone else’s dream, while carrying all the weight on my shoulders, and spending money I didn’t need to be spending in order to do it.

Real estate is a weird industry. I assume there are many others like this. Maybe all industries are like this.

But fast forward, today, and for the last 4-6 months, I am happy to say that I am so happy. I have no stress, minus the normal stresses that come with providing for a family in a slowed economy, but I have no one in my life that brings be anxiety. I have complete control. I am completely happy with everyone and everything in my life.

Sure, sometimes my kids are “being kids” and making messes, and talking back here and there, but what kid doesn’t test their boundaries and think they know it all? Lol.

But seriously, my life is good.

I have never been this satisfied.

So in December we started playing pickleball. I don’t think this changed my life, but gosh darn it, it sure is fun. And I have made a whole handful of friends that I wouldn’t have made otherwise. I am pretty lucky. We have 8 courts, right in my neighborhood, esentially, across the street from my house.

I really do have a lot going on right now. I just realized this, as I am trying to think what to include in the paragraph after the previous one. Lol.

So a little over a month ago, I decided to get my blood drawn. I have struggled to lose weight for a very long time. Nothing I have done in the last 8 years has worked. All I have managed to do was gain about 5 pounds per year. Which is nothing to be proud of. The highest number I saw on the scale has been 170 pounds on my 5’ 4'“ frame. Which by all definitions is overweight. I don’t think an image of my body screams unhealthy and overweight, but I was a bit above the old definition of “average”.

So I go see the doctor. Edward (my husband and I) go together, and we run these two “panels”, for lack of better words. One was for “weight loss” and one fell under the category of “hormones”. We go out of town the next day (maybe two days later) (I am laughing right now, because that is another new thing I forgot about), and I have since listened to an amazing podcast and started reading an amazing book. The Podcast was on The Diary of a CEO and featured Dr. Mindy Pelz. Here is the link.

Long story short, I did a 36-hour fast, 12 hours of eating, a 36-hour fast, and then started intermittent fasting on a daily basis. During the 36/12/36, I lost a few pounds. Fast forward 2 weeks, I had lost over 7 lbs, and a little over a month later I have lost 13+ pounds. Finally!

So besides fasting 16-20+ hours a day (don’t eat when it is dark out, eat in an 8 hour window or less), we bought an RV 3 or so weeks before summer ended. Our summers are short where we live. 2-4 weeks shorter than other places. The traveling has been a blast. I haven’t been creating a lot of content around it, but I plan on blogging here.

And my last huge announcement… The one that makes this blog post go full circle, is that I opened a coaching company called Jo & Coaching (yes, a play on Jo & Co., which is my brokerage). And it is the reason why I am exhausted.

I haven’t finished the built out of the website, but I have a storefront here on a platform called stan.store. I have created a ton of products, which you can find here. And I am now recording and uploading 1 reel a day. I hope to eventually get to 2 posts (maybe 2 reels) a day, but I haven’t made that commitment yet.

Real estate has slowed down, so as much as it would be fun to throw myself into a side hustle, my real estate business needs my attention. So I will be dividing it. Next week I have huge content plans I will be executing on, so I won’t have a ton of free time.

Wish me luck. Lol. Xojo.

Oh, and if you are interested, here is the link to my new Jo & Coaching Instagram.